Well that was fun! Me, Javier, Samantha, Julie, and Darin all went and got food at Wendy’s (we got ours faster hehehe) and then left over to Tristan’s house. Oh yeah, Tristan was with us too….duh.

Anyway, we all zipped over there and had ourselves a little party. Nothing huge (_{and no, no one got drunk at this one! wow!}). So we watched 5th element, ate our wendys food, made fun of the hamster, and basically just had a little fun….then I got the camera out…..well….those pictures will be posted in a little bit. I have to download and edit them ;-) You know….like putting Javier’s face on some porn star or something like that … tehehehe. All in all we were there at tristans for about….uhm…9pm till 3am. It was a lot of fun.

well, i am pleasantly surprised to see how well Darrin’s Opinions section is doing. I’m very happy and excited about it growing. I will hopefully add a feature soon that will use cookies to save the name and email you use so that you don’t have to keep typing them in.

Also, if things go well with the darrin’s opinions, i may very well expand it to other peoples posting too – I am sure a section on “Nick’s Profiles” would be cool. and I am sure someone out there has some “Omnoius Ponderings” they could write about. If anyone out there is interested, gimme a buzz (click the email me link) and we’ll talk about it.

Other than that, Javier is putting out some stupid letter about nick and he’s turning it into some pity fair for himself in some inane hope that it will turn into attention for him while at the same time showing nick the error of his ways. Personally I think this letter should go to just nick and stay that way – mass mailing it will do nothing but create a fiasco….but hey, who am I to judge.

…is one of the most difficult things to posses.

I mean seriously, it’s so easy to lie – to say what people want to hear. It’s even easier to not say anything at all. But in the end it’s never right – it always just complicates things, makes things worse. Where as, if you tell a lie or nothing, a person might not feel bad – or worse, they’ll feel better, that just makes it more of a let down later.

However, if you tell the truth right off the bat, then even if it is negative, at least it’s done and over with – much less strife and torment. Not only all of that, but holding in the truth is nerve wracking – it makes your mind clouded cause it’s always there, nagging at you to do something about it.

I hope some day I am much more truthful than I am now.

Nick: Everything is alright in the end. If everything’s not alright, then it’s not the end.

Leah: i love a boy, his name isn’t troy. i love a boy, he isn’t a toy. i love a boy, wait he is kinda a man. ok i like a guy a whole bunch i would eat a banana for him

Well the new site is almost done. I have everything done except the pictures section which I will get done sometime this week.

Most people who have seen it say it is much better, and easier, and all around an improvement. I’m really happy about it. I’m excited about the comments system which is gonna be really cool if it works out right (which so far it’s going great.)

In the future i think I am going to add cookies so you don’t have to keep typing in your posting name and email address. Make it easier for repeat people to come and post.

In other news, I just contracted with a guy to install a script and do some other general coding work and he’s going to GIVE ME the domain TheCodePro.com – how sweet is that? What a cool domain to have. It’ll be great to use if/when I choose to start making a portfolio (which I really ought to do).

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the new site and I especially look forward to seeing more of Darrin’s Opinions. ;-)

well the shit has really hit the fan this time. Everything has come to light and my debt of nearly $1,300 has come out. Well I just got a check for $600, and it is obviously already spent….i probably won’t be out of this debt for another 3 months as I work it off….fuck….this sucks.

I thought managing money would be so easy, so simple. Add and subtract. Income – Expenses….well I screwed myself over and even after I work out of this hole, i’ll probably spent another 3 months stock piling some dinero so this will NEVER happen again. damn this sucks….

So, xmas is over, people are all sitting around with nuttin to do…we all want to get out and have fun…well we did. Sorta… So Javier has been planning his party all week (perhaps longer too i think) anywho, the party comes down to the wire and everything is set but the location (duh!) but that works out and a hotel room is rented.

Colin, being old enough, take the money and buys the “stuff” as Nick calls it. Stuff of course, being alcohol. Nick, Javier, Jaime, Tristen, and Amy all get to the hotel and begin with the evening activities.

Enter Jeff.

I went to the wrong hotel – damnit…went back home, called nick, got the RIGHT hotel, and then drove over. Anyway, I get there and every one has been drinking already – not for too long though I think. I enter and start, you know, talking and stuff. I don’t drink…yet.

After another bit, more drinking and talking and playing of games has happened. Jaime, by this time is drunk. She’s not bad, and isn’t drinking much more, but she is very dizy, tispy, and drunk. She’s quite funny though and it was amusing to see her so. Oh yeah, tristen is pretty out there by now to, but he’s still drinking.

The drink of choice for the evening was Smirnoff Ice. There was a (i think) 24 pack there. There was various other liqours too, but I can’t remeber/name all of them.

Anywho, clock rolls on a bit and Steven, Michelle and Leah show up. Now, Leah is nick’s current “love” interest. It’s odd though, sorta of a love-hate relationship. Sometimes they mesh perfectly, other times they don’t even look at each other. This turned out to be the latter type of night. They talked maybe 4 times and very breifly at that. Leah is against drinking (but not pot…odd) and was probably upset about nick drinking.

Jenga – this game can NOT be played with people who have been drinking. Period. Not only that, but this was the “truth or dare” jenga. And the middle blocks can be writen on to contain whatever you want. Two of the blocks were “Leah and Nick make out for 30 seconds”. This of course upset nick greatly because he didn’t want to be forced into it – and also probably cause he knew that Leah wasn’t going to go for it. All in all, we never made it around the circle of players twice before the tower fell. We played 3 games and gave up.

At about this point Michele and Leah left. This was not a happy parting. Steven left a little bit later.

Now the players are left:

• Amy: Most experienced drinker
• Colin and Javier: Seconds in line (Colin i think outranking, but not sure)
• Tristen and Jaime: Off in their own little world.
• Nick: having not had a whole lot, just a little giggly.
• Jeff: Hasn’t drank anything but orange juice.

Nick being (probably) upset about the Leah thing, or just being dumb, starts trying to drink himself under the table. Anyway, he’s going for this that, and then this again…twice. He drinks a lot, whether he says so or not. He and Amy are both drunk out of the minds (as per usual with Amy) but this time I actually think nick was the worst. True, he had not drank as much as many, but he was being affected the most, and being the most affected (meaning loud). At this point Nick and Amy go in the bathroom alone and have some heart to heart where she comes out crying. That’s just about the last time those two speak for the rest of the night.

So let’s figure out where we are. It’s now midnight. Jeff hasn’t had anything, colins in the corner feeling bad, Jaime and tristen are in their own world (still), amy is crying, nick is banging around falling over himself drunk and javier is playing referee. Whew.

Here’s my part. I promised at midnight I would drink. So I get some shots lined up…a sampler of sorts…yikes. I start with VODKA…oh my god. That shit burned SOOOOOO bad…but I got it down…ouch. THEN i was instucted to have the Gin…that was just to much for someone who has never drank and hadn’t been drinking. I run to the bathroom, keel over, and wait for the inevitable hurling to commence…and wait…and wait…but nothing comes – thank god. I get up and have about 3 glasses of water – quickly. After that I decied to go with something smoother and easier to take down. I get a smirnoff ice and begin on that. I make it through only one and a half (1.5) of them before I simply can’t pallete the taste at all anymore.

The only thing that happened to me was that I became very forward with things I said (as in the very first thing that came to mind came out) and I lost a little bit of co-ordination, but nothing serious.

If you’ve been keeping up with this journal, you know I am a mixed bag on drinking…it’s been a big issue in my life recently. Anyway, i have now at this point been on several sides of drinking. Including the have had some. Now, I wasn’t drunk by any means, but I could feel what was happening, and I don’t want to again. Mostly because aside from making me clumsy, alcohol (as i had suspected) didn’t do anything positive for me. All it really was doing was taking away co-ordination and making me say things forthright. I can say what’s on my mind without needing alcohol – so no more of that for me.

For Nick This is the point where I remind you that “I am right…about everything.”

Anyway! Whew…long story – and more to go!

Jeff Colin and tristen are sitting on the bed just chumming it together and talking, and at this point is when the heart to heart happens with Nick and Amy ( i think….it’s getting late and memory of the story will be blurrly ) anyway, javier is in full babysitter mode now for Nick because nick can’t hold himself up at all for his life. Nick and Javier spend the next 3 hours in the John with nick throwing up about once every 15 minutes(average). Anyway, i have been drinking so I neeed to peee….so I have to have colin hold the outside door open while i run out to hill to pee cause I don’t want to haul nick out of the bathroom cause I don’t want him to throw up in the room. Yeah…

Also at this point Jaime has regained her ability to walk straight…she was pretty much sobered up. So she’s helping out Javier with nick. Also, the time for Amy to passout has come and so shes out, i’m going to sleep, colins asleep, and at about 3 o’clock nick comes out, lays down and gets some z’s. We wake at about 7/8 oclock, rouse about for a bit and I came home at 9/10ish today.

So there you have it….oh yeah, famous quotes while drinking:

Throwing up “Jeff, you have to try this, it’s soo fun!” -Amy

In the toilet “WAIT! JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE! WAIT!! WWAAAIIIITTT!!!!!” -Nick

The End……more to come???

Well. What a wonderful weekend. I got to go up and visit my Nana (dad’s mom) and that was ok. I must admit – it’s rather sad to see her. She’s very old and dying very slowly and it’s got to be hell on my dad and aunt. I feel very sorry for them…but not so much for my nana.

After that we stayed with my aunt (by the way, this is in trukee up near tahoe and ski places) and we went sleding around. A friend of michael’s that came brought a small flimsy plastic snowboard, but it served it’s purpose well.

It was really fun to go down long snow covered driveways and hit a nice little jump and do a trick. That was fun. :-)

Of course, I pulled out my back doing all of this which kinda sucked, but it was worth it i think. I hadn’t had some good wholesome fun like that in a while and it was great.

Also, Amy just came over with an apology for how things have been between us recently. We hugged and are all better. Of course the fact that she brought me candy was the only thing that made it ok….hehe, just kidding. I’m just glad that we’re talking again. I did miss seeing/speaking with her as well.

Well I am soon off to spend xmas evening with my dad, and then xmas morning with my mom. So far this “divorced” xmas thing isn’t too weird..we’ll see how it goes from here. Expect more updates soon…OH YEAH duh… Yvette got me a cute cuddle bear from that Teddy Crafters place! It’s very nice and I love it. She gave it a name Cuddley Chuy, but I just call it “cuddles” cause i’m lazier than hell :-)

I’ve not had a very good few last days. The more I see people, the less and less happy I am to be around them – at all. Perhaps it’s the people I am hanging out with, perhaps I am on my “social-life period” or something. Either way, i’ve not been very happy with my self/friends.

edit there used to be a picture here – but i’ve long since lost it. Jeff (2004-06-19)

And then tonight Nick plays this neat little ditty he’s working on for his own song, and I try to pick it up after he’s shown Amy how to play it. Well Amy takes this really high-and-mighty, “it’s a special thing Jeff shouldn’t know!” stance and it kinda really pissed me off. Now, I know it was late, and I am positive she’d had something to drink, so she’s not quite herself – but that doesn’t help that fact that it pissed me off that she was being bitchy about that – like it was her special priviledge, and i wasn’t worthy. Anyway – it’s a fucking song and that was mean.

I think I am going to go spend tomorrow at work and just try to forget about all this stuff. I will certainly be busy enough since I haven’t been in for several days. But, i’m looking forward to that – get my mind off things. And if possible, i’m going to see if me and Yvette can possibly get together…we didn’t this weekend except dancing on Friday night, and I was very unhappy about that – i think that’s a major contribution to my bad mood.

I’m noticing that I seem to like to write when the X8 minute comes around. Like the last three/four entries have been on an X8 minute….odd…

Anyway, yeah.

Some days there just isn’t much to…oh yeah…

I went to the Piner High School Winter Concert today – for the most part it was off pitch, under-rehearsed, and lacking in serious conviction. It was still very worth the 3 dollars (my mom) paid. If for nothing other than to see Milbrath do his crazy conducting dance. Some of the songs were very impressive as well. The first song when Celia did a solo was incredible – her solo I mean. I remember doing “My Favorite Year” with her….she was so timid about singing, she wouldn’t even look me straight in the eyes while on stage. She’s come very far and I am very impressed by her.

Well, another interesting day in the life of Jeff.

Yeah…well updates since I last wrote…I got to see Yvette this weekend again. I am now the official “weekend boyfriend”. Both of us being busy till the weekend. Course, living over fountain grove road doesn’t help us get together either – that’s a long drive…not really, but the hill makes it seem so. Just a mental block I guess. However, every trip has been more than worth it each and every time and moment there. Anyway yeah, we got together at her house and did stuff and ate spagetti (that’s all i ever eat there.) Yeah…no details on that date for you. :-)

Uhm, let’s see, Nick is in town again and getting lots of attention. It crossed my mind, “I wonder if I would be as popular if I left for somewhere like college and came back.” I honestly don’t know if I would be when I came back – sure two or three people, but I don’t know how many more than that … I have got to get a life.

So nick and colin and I went out this evening. I can’t believe what a terrible driver Coling is. I swear! I mean, yeah, some people aren’t super duper at shifting, but come on! He’s been driving twice as long as me (if not longer) and I was shifting smoother than he does now after 4 days…maybe he just doesn’t try. Oh well – if that’s how he likes it, go him.

I don’t think I am having any secrets for this entry – sorry – nothing to interesting to delve out. Oh yeah, Tanara called me “Sweetie” today and it made me feel very happy. :-)

Ok well…yeah…that’s it. Have a nice day/night.

So much to write about:

• My weekend event
• This Journal
• Seeing Ted and thoughts it brings to mind
• Saturday Night
• My webclass

My weekend event

Well, this weekend was rather uneventful up until sunday afternoon/evening when I got together with Yvette. We got together to go to the mall because I had absolutely NO idea what to go do and I have no money to go do anything so I though the mall would be a good idea – a place we can spend some time together and not have to really worry about anything.

So we went there and it was fun and all and we went around in circles there about a million times and I killed my nose going into the mens fragrance area. And we spent some good quality time in Spencers hehe…

Anyway, after that we went back to my house where we gave each other back massages, wrestled around a bit, and ended up taking a nap cuddled up. It was very relaxing and enjoyable. I am going to go see her in “Into the Woods” this saturday (possibly with Michele, but that’s only if I see her there). I’m supposed to video tape it too.

This Journal

This dang thing is going to get me into so much trouble I realize now….I have never been this forth coming with my thoughts and emotions really. I’ve always been one to keep things kept up in myself until I just couldn’t stand it – course with as much practice as I have, it takes a LOT of shit to really get me ticked.

Anywho, I think that while this is going to be difficult for me to do (i’ve already just this entry had to go back and add something I left out cause I didn’t want to share it) but in the end it’s going to make me more open about how I feel and that’s a good thing. So I’ll keep doing it!

Seeing Ted and thoughts it brings to mind

This guys pretty cool. He’s quite the artist, and even better at socializing with people. He knows more people than I know words – it’s scary. Anyway, I saw him today for like the first time in several (i mean like 6) months. It’s good to see him and we talked about party’s and drinking at them. I relayed all my poor experiences to him and we talked about that stuff. Sometimes drinking can be cool, sometimes not. I guess it really depends on if a person is mature about it or not.

Saturday Night

We sang at a vineyard for some event. We sang for THREE FREAKING HOURS – but afterwards they gave us lots of free wine and spinach dip. I didn’t drink – but it was a nice little gathering of friends drinking that made me think a second time about whether drinking is bad or not. I guess it just depends. At this event it was cool. No one driving drank, and those who did drink were controlled about it and it was just a nice relaxing thing – not binging to get flat-out drunk. We were told we were the best performers for the evening too!

My webclass

Boy did i screw up big time…i have not tested anything I was supposed to test a WHOLE lot of stuff and I havent…i am in big trouble…and I got a lot of work to do tomorrow…sigh I am such a bad person because of my procrastinating..I really ought to do something about it…maybe I will later though…

Well that was rather unproductive day….sigh. I REALLY need the power at the office to go back on so I can actually start working and getting some time logged in – cause I need the pay and working from home doesn’t work for me at all. I get distracted, and can’t concentrate at all. Ugh.

Well, i did manage 3 hours of work (not nearly enough) and I also go my car washed very well. Got the duct tape residue off as well. It’s all nice a sparkly. It things go well I may wax it tomorrow and I will hopefully vacum it too.

Oh yeah, I stopped in at Car Tunes there and spoke with a guy named Paul. He was very friendly and helpful and answered all my dumb questions (cause I am a newbie to cars and need an education). Anywho, that was cool.

Well I have had a rather enjoyable week so far.

To start with, on Sunday I went and visited a friend, Yvette. She’s a very pretty girl and a lot of fun to be around. She and I had met at Dance Central (a place to go and dance, we met on the Swing Dancing night). Anyway, she later on asked me to go to her Homecoming dance, and I agreed. What a blast that was – so many people and so much dancing…fun fun fun :-) I was at her house for about 3 hours and we just talked and talked – she has the most decorated room I’ve ever seen. There’s magazine clippings everywhere, and poetry, and drawings she did. Garsh! We’re have plans to do something this Sunday, but we haven’t decided on what yet – but I don’t really care.

Also this week Javier took me to 24Hour Fitness where I severely damaged myself. Woah – I am soooo out of shape – after about 50 crunchies I nearly threw up. I’m glad I am getting back into Judo this coming semester – I desperately need it. After that joyful experience we went and saw “Out Cold”. A funny movie, but a lot of it would be considered immature foolery – but I enjoyed it, especially the out-takes at the end.

Anywho, I look forward to the rest of this week – oh yeah, Tracey came back (you don’t know her, but she’s cool) and hopefully she, Javier, and I (maybe others) will go see a movie next week. That would be awesome.

I recently receieved an email stating that this journal wasn’t “Spicy” enough to be considered a journal and that I shouldn’t be going on about work logs – so, as a firey reply, I am just going to start delving out secrets here because, well, that’s what you do with a journal – right?

This weekend my mother left town. She and I are the only people who live here on the weekend – this of course then left me here alone. Being the 18 yearold that I am, i decided it was party time.

After gathering some people and telling others about it, the first guest arrives. (From here out, names will not be said because that would be just TOO revealing). Guest1 has brought with him a bottle of Raspberry Vodka. Well I have never drank (a sip for tasting, but that was it cause it was nasty) and I don’t ever intend on it.

Now, my mother had told me “No Drinking” while she was gone cause she didn’t want to miss out – well I knew that this rule was already out the window because (what i didn’t know at this point) was that all of my friends drink; most very very heavily.

Anyway, guest1 also brought Jello mix, and started to prepare Jello Shooters (basically Jello with vodka). Anyway, I hoped that this would tide them all over and that’s all that would occur as far as drinking goes. Shortly after the Jello is set and is going, guest2 arrives and we talk and stuff and she’s made aware of the shooters. No big deal for her.

Anyway, more stuff happens and the night progresses (at one point a very “no drinking at all” person comes and well all have to tone down to keep from spilling about the jello) and it ends up being about 6 people at my house at 12-1 ish. So we are all laughing and having fun, and then people start taking off clothing and more drink (what was left from making the jello shots) is drank. At this point I am feeling very very uncomfortable, so I put my shirt back on and go downstairs (they were all upstairs) to just get away. By this point every one had been drinking – some more than others. Only one of the guests seemed to be able to “hold their liquor” and the rest were . . . well let’s just leave it at they shouldn’t be drinking.

Finally people get tired, some movies are watched people leave and at about 4AM me and the two remaining guests fall asleep in my bed. Wake up at about 11am and I take them home.

And that is the story of my first party with alcohol and girls – and I am never doing it again. Specifically the drinking part. I hated it – I don’t like alcohol at all – the taste, nor what it does to you. I used to think “to each their own” then after dealing with a suicidal-drunken friend i concluded, “Some people can handle it, some cant.” Now i find that, “Drinking is one of the stupidest things I can think of doing to have a good time.” Some reasons:

1. It makes you forget things – why would you want that? If I have a great time (either with friends or intimately) I am GOING to remember it! I don’t want to forget it!
2. It takes away inhibitions – at random. What I mean is this. Most people drink to relax – this relaxation come from the alcohol having a chemical effect on their body AND MIND. The mind part is the important one. It allows people to forget about inhibitions pre-ordained in themselves. IE – certain people, unless drunk, would never talk to the pretty woman at the bar because they fear they aren’t good enough. That fear is taken away with alcohol. What’s bad about that you ask? Simple, it’s not just THAT fear that goes. It’s ALL YOUR FEARS or RANDOM ones. So while you can now talk to that beautiful woman, you may also now be willing to take some incredibly horrible drug, or get a tatto you don’t really want or some other stupid thing. I find that I can get rid of my inhibitions just by wanting them to go away. And that’s just mental power – and it’s very very selective so that’s a good thing.
3. It messes with your ability to do anything right. When I dealt with that suicidal-drunken person one time, they couldn’t walk, talk, or think straight. I am NOT willing to put myself there. Think about it, your fears of doing something dangerous are now gone, but you can’t competently perform whatever it is because you’re drunk. How’s that gonna do any good?

That was this weekends lesson learned the hard way – and probably the best way.